I am not beautiful like you!
I am beautiful like me.
Life is a roller coaster ride, the ups and downs make us who we are and how we deal with things.
The best thing I have learnt through the period of last 5 years while being extremely sick with no explanation to my disease, no cure and no awareness is the ability to wear my scars with confidence.
At the same time I haven’t forgotten who I used to be, the over ambitious, amazing, beautiful young lady with a very promising career path…
But then when life took me by surprise and showed me a path completely different from what I was raised to walk on, I was shattered, debilitated, I didn’t know whether my life was even worth living at all?
Slowly, one after another, I lost almost every important thing that I had earned over time;
Graduation, Health, Physical Fitness, Career, Friends etc.
But who knew what came initially as a major loss was to become a major source of strength for me and for others, in the years to come.
I now can’t read anything even a little bit technical, for example my course books or anything that needs analytical effort, because of brain fog (another symptom of fibromyalgia).
I don’t have any money in my account to make trips, buy expensive gifts, or to even afford a life that I always dreamt of, unlike those friends of mine who were nowhere close to how good I was but are living the life that I deserved, wanted and craved for.
That’s of course because my undergraduation course is still halfway on standby even in the 6th year of being in college, because of the disability that Fibromyalgia causes.
I can’t travel as much as I used to because of chronic fatigue pain, migraine and sensitivity to heat, light etc.
And do you know?
All these symptoms and their impacts are not yet complete, Fibromyalgia keeps adding several other cruel symptoms like irritable bowel syndrome, thyroid disorder, sciatica etc. to the body with time.
Have a look yourself!
The most recent change was the whooping weight gain in last 6 months from 56 to 65 kgs!
I am not worried about my looks, what I am worried about is the effect of weight gain in my inability to handle my own body with the very little energy that Fibromyalgia allows me to have.
I am mostly on bed these days, with the weight gain and immense pain,I have no way out to exercise and be fit.
The excess fat and fluffiness of body causes many other difficulties too while trying to do even simple tasks.
But, where’s all the good part in my story?
What happens after someone is knocked down to the best possible and they are left with nothing good to carry on their life with?
I will tell you what, I am certainly not the only one who has gone through this, though very less but there are others in the same struggle as mine.
What do we all do?
With all the energy, life, spirit that’s still left, we choose to walk on and fight.
I need not tell you how most of the famous personalities of all time were made, by going through the most harsh circumstances!
They were the heroes and hey, if you are someone on whom life is being very rude and unfair too, I am really very proud of you.
You are a warrior of all the others that are there around.
Eating, sleeping, show-offing and repeating!
That’s what most of them out there are doing.
You have been chosen to live a life different than that, to endure, fight, learn and make a difference!
Life is a beautiful thing, only if you learn the hidden purpose in it.
Strength and love you beautiful people. 😊😊
May all of you grow stronger and conquer whatever it is that you are fighting right now.
A Note by the Author
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